nightmare keep on haunting me!

It has been for weeks now that continuously nightmare keeps on haunting me!

arhhhhh! Its really drive me crazy... Crying... Scared... in the middle of the night for the ridiculous dream!I can't enjoy much on my sleeping relaxing hour!

Been working the next day with my panda eyes and keep on yawning!

TIRED~! TIRED~!

where is the quality of my sleeping?

my feeling...

My dear actually I want to join is because I'm bored and I just want to social with new peoples. Is not mean that, I controlling you or not trusting with you. I just want to mix around and meeting new friends...

Ever since I worked in Selangor, I really had a boring life~ What I mean is, there is no friend that I can hang out with. My social life getting more boring~ No one can accompany me for happy hour... No one can accompany for chit chatting...

You know that, my friends here are not convenience to hang out with... no transport, already had a family, staying quite far from my side...

Well, I know you have joined the committee club (under the company) and there is function on and off. Surely, I'm interested to join lah... Surely I upset when can't join you lor...

I hope you understand my feeling dear...

I'm truly, deeply love you my dear...

Jealousy Freak of me!

Well, just after Valentine's day now....

I was in the office with lots of free time and I was google around with my bf nick name...

Reading to his blog during his study in Sabah... how was he life is...

reading by reading... google and google...

There is a link from the picasaweb... it was his album during in Sabah.

And there was his album "my dear" from those days... At first, I was kind of jealous (obviously I am a jealousy freak) and little heart broken thinking why did he still kept those photos? Then, I was saw each photo one by one and it was during his trip with his ex. The trip was in 2006 - climbing KK mountain. Those photos kind of sweet of those couple hugging around... Oh my, I'm jealous again!!! Its already spoil my mood of the day... Then, I realized that.... WHY AM I SO STUPID GOOGLE AROUND CHECKING ON HIM???? My action really sucks! Stupid!

Anyway, when I bank home, my bf already at home (as he was on PH and my company was not entitled for the PH of the day). Obviously, I was like with my "black face" (bad moody) and he asking whether I'm ok.... and to be sure that what has happen to me.

Then, I couldn't hold back my feeling, I called my best friend and talk about this. She advice me to forget it which I should do! As it was already past tense and he now with me! I should think about our future and don't get the jealousy feeling controlling my emotions! Well, it is true that I should has not itchy to go and google it anyway!

Honestly, I was watching too much stupid drama that ex couple will get back together! What a shit of my thinking man! That is why I always worried... will someday he dumped me and get back with her???

Oh man!! common~ I should have fucking this feeling away! I should think positive about our relationship here! He loves me more this time! And he is honestly loves me!!!

I really loves you dear and I honestly want to continue the 2nd chapter of life with you!